Favorite JoCo lyrics/lines

edited June 2013 in Everything Else
I love Jonathan Coulton music. Obviously. I'm posting this here, right? One of the reasons is that he writes some really good, touching lines. Oh, and some amazing funny lines, too. I thought it would be nice to share some of our favorite lyrics from the sizable Coulton Catalog. 

Here are the ones that made me think of starting this here topic:

from Make You Cry (I'm never quite sure whether to be really sad or really creeped out by the song):

I know you care, you just don't care for me

And from Glasses (such a good song):

House shifts into place
A little breathing space
The radiators and the floorboards will argue while we sleep

What are your favorites?

Comments

  • edited June 2013
    One of my favorites is from When You Go. All of the song really but if I had to choose one though, it's the chorus:

    Only a dream I know,
    Thinking you'd never go.
    Tearing off pieces of myself
    Just for the time it buys me.

    Also Better has a lot of really great lines in it.

    I remember my first big surprise, 
    the day you came home with your infrared eyes.
    I looked inside them but all I could see,
    were tiny reflections of me.
  • I've noticed recently that JoCo has some great one liners that are just intriguingly hilarious when presented with no context.

    Maybe I used too many monkeys.

    Much rather wake up, eat a coffee cake, take bath, take nap.

    They are ugly and small and not tasty at all
    They are lobsters in nothing but name


    And plenty of other examples I could list.

    There are two JoCo songs with lyrics that I love on a non-humorous level.  The first is Nobody Loves You Like Me.  The entire song is haunting in ways I don't think I've ever experienced in any other song, but I'd say the one line that resonates more than any other is...

    I'm supposed to feel bad, but I don't anymore.
    Only when you remind me.


    The 2nd comes from the somewhat recently discovered Always The Moon.  I love the entire mythos of the song and the way the metaphors apply to the relationship, but the last verse is easily my favorite part of the song.

    Remember when there was a you and me
    When there was such a thing as gravity
    And the tides came in and the tides went out again
    But the water got too high
    And the sun began to die
    And I tried to make you stay
    But the world pulled you away
    And now there are darker longer colder nights
    And the sun has gone for good
    And so here we are
    But there is always the moon


    Finally, an honorable mention to the first JoCo lyric that ever made me laugh my ass off.

    Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write god damned login page himself.

    GUYS PICKING FAVORITES IS HARD!
  • Just off the top of my head, of course there's this:

    Enjoy yourself, do the things that matter
    'cause there isn't time and space to do it all

    Don't live another day unless you make it count
    There's someone else that you're supposed to be
    Something deep inside of you that still wants out
    And shame on you if you don't set it free

    (I'm not too excited about the lines in between)

    I took the collar off,
    I'm holding my own leash
    and walking myself outside

    (because that song is secretly about JoCo quitting his job.)

    And the whole half-pony half-monkey monster bit. I am sure there are more, but I should be in bed.
  • edited June 2013
    I really liked this line from The World Belongs to You:

    "As they turn to go, you can forgive for they know not what they do.

    The world belongs to you"

    Fraud

    "What's the over under of getting it done without always regretting it?"

    Sucker Punch and Sticking It To Myself are treasure troves of wordplay! I'm honored to have butchered the later on stage at JCCC3.

    You will note I have a soft spot for Artificial Heart songs.

    As far as his older songs, I do remember "Dings Dong" fondly from the JCCC1 performance of Over There.
  • I always really loved this bit from Blue Sunny Day:

    "Several hours later I'm the only one awake
    All these streets are empty, it's just me and my mistake"

    I love how relatable that part is, even if you're not a mopey vampire.

    But probably the line that still makes me laugh to this day no matter how many times I hear it:

    "And I'm tired of the evenings I spend
    Making small talk with your new robot friends
    And their stupid insistence on scanning my iris
    When they know damn well who I am"

    Just that image of robots passive aggressively insisting on retinal scans of that boyfriend they don't like makes me smile every time.

  • Jonathan Coulton taught me how to pronounce "crudite." :)
  • edited June 2013
    Wow, this went a little longer than I though.  Sorry!  I'm sure I missed plenty also.

    Sad ones:
    "What if the best that I can be just isn't good enough?  Isn't it better not to know?"
    "It's too late to say I'm sorry, anyway it's not true"
    "And I forgive them.  I forgive and I let go"
    "Still no one notices when they write me out of it"
    * "I don't think I want to be a good dog anymore"

    Deep ones:
    "There's something deep inside of you that still wants out and shame on you if you don't set it free"
    "Picks up one life, puts another one down"  (I love the idea behind that)
    "You're afraid whatever choice you make won't be exactly the right mistake"
    "Days will be clear and sunny.  We're going to need more money.  Baby, you know it's funny, all those stories coming true"  (Pretty much that whole song, really)

    Funny ones:
    "And you know I'll make room for your shit because..."
    "And their stupid insistence on scanning my iris when they know damn well who I am"
    "Not everybody's good, but everyone tries"
    "You know I love my soylent green"
    "Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write god damned login page himself"
    "Got to keep the Canadians down"
    "Grass below you, sky above.  Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called... Fucking outside"  (I love that it's set up to rhyme with love and there's a little pause there)
    "This bad coffee's filling me with equal parts joy and rage"
    "And I am still sort of amazed that you can be born in the nineties"
    "I'm practically signing it, the song that tears the world apart"
    "All I know is the steak tastes better when I take my steak tastes better pill"
    "As if there where apartments smaller than mine"
    "You're one bad ass fucking fractal"
    "My monkey's not the only one who's acting like a jerk"
    "Now that you're here I don't seem that crazy do I?"
    "The hidden blade when you pretend that you don't even know my name.  Well played"
    "I'm not a monster, Tom, well technically I am.  I guess I am"
    "Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?"
    "For the good of all of us except the ones who are dead"
    "Look at me still talking when there's science to do"
    "She'll look the same except for her bionic eyes.  She lost the real ones in the robot wars"  (LOL, oops)
    "Remember when you tried to kill me twice?"

    * This is about the saddest line I've ever heard in a song.  It actually will make me cry.  I can't get over the thought of someone basically being told that to be "good" they must do something to hurt themselves.  You know, for the greater good.  This line is that moment when they realize that the ones they were doing it for, the ones they wanted to be good for, don't care about their well being at all.  It's heartbreaking.
  • Ooh, the mention of Blue Sunny Day reminded me of these ones:

    Dawn breaks hard and falls on me

    The world's so bright and beautiful I have to look away


    Oh yeah, and:

    Now these points of data make a beautiful line
    and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.


    and a whole lot of the rhymes from Mandelbrot Set, and:

    Summer's over
    Because it has to be


    I'm still trying to decide on a favourite line or set of lines from When You Go.
  • [MESSAGE REDACTED]
  • And of course as always happened with such questions I was reminded of a couple obvious ones this morning that I forgot, possibly the JoCo lines I repeat the most often:

    "I don't want to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?"

    and

    "I'm not a monster, Tom...well, technically I am..."

    and

    "I've been patient, I've been gracious, and this mountain is covered with wolves."

  • Guess what Malashenkov?
    I took the collar off
    I'm holding my own leash
    And walking myself outside
    This door
    I don't think
    I want to be a good dog anymore.

    I may well be the only person for whom these lyrics are deeply, personally relevant.
  • I've been smitten by "Lady Aberlin's Muumuu" -> "Shaped like a lady is shaped."
  • @maletero You already got it for me with "House shifts into place..." That is my favourite Coulton lyric and my favourite Coulton song, specifically "the radiatiors and floor boards will argue while we sleep." is the bit that does it for me.
  • "We can only be who we are. It doesn't matter if they don't understand."
    "Let them think what they like, we're fine. I will always be right here next to you"

    "All of this time I knew that I'd be losing you. That doesn't mean that it's OK; that doesn't mean I'm ready."

    "And when my heart is breaking I can close my eyes and it's already here"

    "
    Maybe I am better off alone because I crush everything"

    "I can't wait to watch you bleed when your heart's broken too"

    "But there's a spiraling staircase that you're falling down and you're nothing but dead at the bottom"

    "Well it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here"

    "Johnny C.'s in trouble"

    "So they got the witch a dress, put some make-up on her face"

    "I don't like to make political statements..."

    "I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks--I just bought a table for 60 bucks"

    "Good thing that he's not gay anymore"

    "All I know is the wine lasts longer when you don't gotta share it with someone"

    "In the morning you head into town cause you want to go antiquing"

    "I use the passive voice to show how gentle I'll be"

    "Ladies please, there's room for everyone who wants a try"

    "But there's nowhere she can hide when a crazy cyborg wants to make you his robot bride"

    "
    How do you wash a giant baby? Especially when he poops."

    "Beige bear says that some monkeys misbehave only because they're sad..."

    "With big warm fuzzy secret heart"

    "It doesn't mean my monkey doesn't love you"
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