[Was JCCC3] Now JCCOQuatro - Ahoy the Homosexuals!

AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
edited November 2013 in JoCo Cruise
Hi all. My spouse has decided to accompany me on the cruise. YEAH!!!  On our other cruises, we have gone to the 'Friends of Dorothy' meetings to meet up with other GLBTomgwtf folks. 

As I live in Seattle, where it is so 2003 to care if a person is gay, I am always a bit nervous visiting other states or, god forbid, countries. (I have some great stories about my trips to Saudi Arabia and the UAE)

 - not worried about the SeaMonkeys, as most nerd/geek/ukelele players are also of the 'who cares' variety but I would like to offer a shout-out to other gay folks with an eye on a drink or two with us with the Friends meetup that RC also puts on.


Comments

  • katekate

    You will certainly be among friends, @AuntiLaura!
  • isildur42isildur42
    edited January 2013
    As a member of that community I am happy to join you.  I am thinking of making special Hug Me tags for the LGBTWTFBBQ folks (rainbow for obvious, lazy unoriginal design reasons).  These will still only cost a quarter despite having 2 extra rings, as I am a lazy accountant (don't tell the small non-profit I am CFO for).  I know for a fact that there are going to be at least 2 other T people besides myself, but I don't actually know many Ls, Gs, or Bs among the seamonkeys (but I also don't really notice things like that).

    PS: Last year there was a shadow cruise event for the community, I actually missed it and have no idea what actually occured, but it was one of those officially announced by Paul unofficial events.  I imagine there will be another one this year.
  • katekate
    Special Hug Me tags!
  • melageemelagee
    is it the tags that are special or the hugs? ;)
  • isildur42isildur42
    Equal opportunity hugs only!
  • kerrinkerrin
    Oh, there will be fellow homosexuals. Excellent. Count me in on any meet up. My partner will come too.
  • elgrigyelgrigy
    Count me in for any drinks and/or activities.

    BTdubs @AuntiLaura - I am a former Seattleite, currently living in Pittsburgh.  (I didn't grow up in the PNW, but consider it home).  So I would very enjoy meeting some pnwglbtomgwtfbbqlolzers.
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    hey I'm a former Pittsburgher now living in Seattle! I can't wait to figure out who we know in common.
  • isildur42isildur42
    I've thrown together 10 rainbow hug me tags so far, will make as many as possible with remaining rings.
  • melageemelagee
    I identify as straight, but I covet these tags.
  • AngelasticAngelastic
    edited January 2013
    @melagee: You can get non-rainbow hug me tags. :)

    @isildur42: You could also do less-obvious lazy unoriginal designs.
  • isildur42isildur42
    I will do those other designs on request, I may even make a bunch of bisexual tags and transgender tags just cause...
  • gbasdengbasden
    @isildur42 That would be cool. :)
  • ResRes
    I will so get a rainbow tag. :)
  • SpoonerSpooner
    Looking forward to getting my hug tag so I'm officially authorized to give and receive hugs to/from any huggable sea monkey regardless of sexual orientation! Much love to sea monkeys of all stripes, hoops and colors!
  • ColleenkyColleenky
    @kerrin You're coming on the cruise?! Finally, we meet! :-)
  • AngelasticAngelastic
    Yes! @kerrin's finally coming on the cruise! \o/
  • looneykristinlooneykristin
    I wish I had seen this thread BEFORE the cruise - I so would have gotten a rainbow hug me tag! 
  • isildur42isildur42
    the rainbow tags were a late addition to the array of tags, sorry you missed them.  I will likely be selling them again for next year (I still have a ton of parts left over).
  • kerrinkerrin
    Rainbow tags? What rainbow tags?
    Another thing I missed. :(
    The LGBT meet up left me very confused. I didn't know who was a friend of Dorthy and who was just friendly with Dorthys friends. :)
    There were some people there I was like, oh I never knew, and then I realized they weren't :)
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    Shelley, my beloved wife is nerd adjacent, so she didnt know any of the performers faces, except for Hodgeman and Wil. She managed to have a conversation with Kevin Murphy at the LGBT event and assumed a handsome guy with earrings at a LGBT event was one of those letters.  She even tossed off some of our community specific bon mots that lead Kevin to suddenly realize this grey haired lesbian thought he was the gay too.  He did well but did point out his wife and David the 14 year old sitting across from us.
     oops.

     at least Shelley didnt give away many of our secret passwords or hand signals to a straight guy.
  • autojimautojim
    In an ideal world, it really shouldn't matter, 'cause we're all just humans doing our being-humans thing, right? :)

    It's a small-scale environment, but I'd wager that Sea Monkeys in general approach that ideal far closer than American society at large. A certain amount of confusion could therefore be interpreted as a positive outcome. :)
  • AngelasticAngelastic
    It matters when you're trying to organise a #sexparty.

    The rainbow tags were a special case of the chainmail 'Hug Me' tags to indicate people were open to hugs, I guess indicating they were open to less-straight hugs (not everyone wearing a rainbow tag was LGBT either, but most probably were.) They were not terribly visible, in the end, so I'm not surprised @kerrin missed them. The solution is, of course, to hang around the forums more.
  • katekate
    #sexparty!
  • kerrinkerrin
    > The solution is, of course, to hang around the forums more.
    If only I had time!
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    How lovely. a new cruise to cruise. Shelley and I had an amazing time last year and I hope we shall spring for another GLBTMOUSEOMG Cocktail Party again. 

    On another topic, I was thinking that, while I love me some Karaoke, I would prefer Lip-Syncing For My Life.
    I wonder how we would go about doing that at the social after the mingle part?
  • isildur42isildur42
    I could possibly be talked into drinking enough to lip sync for my life...it would be best if the song list were released ahead of time...but perhaps more fair if it weren't...
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    Picture your choice being from your own ipod... would that work?
  • Doctor_EDoctor_E
    Friends are friends.
    Lets just stop making distinctions, like: I'm a hetero white male. <= did you just judge me for that?
  • stevendjstevendj
    I judge you a bit, yeah. I'm an egalitarian: I believe that some groups are currently treated unequally by society, that this is a bad thing, and that we should work to change that. I think acceptance of these three points is the essence of what it means to be an egalitarian. So when I encounter people who try to minimize the significance of group identifiers, I presume that they either disagree with me on the first or third points, or that they disagree with me on what is to be done at such a fundamental level that we might as well not be on the same side: I don't believe we can ever address social inequalities effectively if we pretend not to be aware of them.
  • stevendjstevendj
    That came out a little harsh. I'm sure we're on the same side, but, well, I do disagree about ignoring these kinds of distinctions. To give an example, I recently invited someone to share my cabin. I didn't mention sex at all. The person I asked, before accepting, had to bring up the subject and make sure that we were on the same page. As a white heterosexual male, I can be pretty sure that the roommate situation won't be uncomfortable unless I make it uncomfortable: as a white heterosexual female, she doesn't have that luxury. We worked it out, but in failing to anticipate her concern, I failed in courtesy. (A minor failure, fortunately, but an accumulation of minor anxieties can be as draining as a single big problem. I should have done been more mindful.)
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    Doctor_E, I didnt judge you on the 'I'm a heterosexual white male'.

    I'ts the part before that which leads to judging . After you said that first part, the HWM part was pretty obvious.

    Then by all means, come to our party on the ship!! 
    Aunti Lesbian, I mean, Laura
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    Now that I responded in kind, really, Doctor_E, I didn't judge you at all. 
    I just don't expect much from white straight guys who I don't know. 

     I dont know what kind of culture or background a guy has that might make him scared of gay people or angry at gay people or nauseated by gay people. (I'm not including you in that listing, generically speaking here).
     
    So I assume everyone is gay (ala this thread) until declared otherwise [Hey, Kevin Murphy] and assume some low level racism, sexism and homophobia on everyone's part. And a knowledge that there is alot of leeway in my life for people who are different from me, right up to the time they call me names, hit me, or refuse me service or advancement because I don't match the right binary.

    So, chill, Doc. Come drink with me. We'll talk about G_d.  That'll be fun!
    Laura



  • Kvort_the_DuckKvort_the_Duck
    I think it's natural to want to be a part of a group, to belong - even when you don't have the criteria to be a true part of that group. It seems to me that being excluded from a given group is a very primal fear.

    I also think it's natural to want to spend time with people who have shared experiences - especially when those experiences are so intense (i.e. discrimination, exclusion, familial rejection, etc). It's easy to identify with that desire if you've ever been in a similar life-altering situation. Experiences like that leave marks that never go away - they become a part of who you are, and it can feel comfortable to be in a group of people that you know have similar backgrounds. You don't have to explain yourself; people just understand.

    ...

    My personal choice would be to respect the lettered group's desire to relax in the company of similar folks. It doesn't make them exclusionary any more than it makes me discriminatory - I don't have the same social experiences that would make me a part of that group.

    On the other hand, if there's a party to celebrate the growing list of states that have legalized same-sex marriage, I'd be both comfortable attending and would love to do so.  :)

    (I don't mean to hijack the thread - hoping to give perspective instead of starting trouble)
  • isildur42isildur42
    I don't think this thread is there to segregate ourselves (the LGBT...s) from the rest of the seamonkeys, it is to show that we have numbers and thus a support network of people who are not just accepting, but are literally in the same boat, to lean on while at sea.  There were several cisros (a term I may have just coined for people who are both cisgender and heterosexual) at the LGBT gathering last year (as AuntiLaura can attest) and they are certainly welcome at any and all future event IMHO because excluding people because they want to dress a certain way and love a certain kind of person is silly.
  • villiciousvillicious
    The LGBT gathering last year was also (unless I'm conflating it with the year before) billed as LGBTQA. A means allies, or as it was read in the morning announcements, it was open to everyone.
  • KathleenKathleen
    I think it's always been open to allies. I am an ally and really want to go this time!
  • Doctor_EDoctor_E
    edited November 2013
    I'm chill, but I've lived through a lot of segregated experiences, starting with growing up as a white kid in a black neighborhood, and getting in fist fights daily until I learned to fight back. Yes, I've had gangs of kids stand in front of me on my way home, ready to beat me up just because I was a white kid. I became a fast runner. Then there's being a Jew, which some people have strong bias against even as adults in professional organizations, and includes many rude comments which are ignorantly blurted out without people knowing my heritage (ya know, like "don't Jew me"). I also use a wheelchair, which people often have strange biases about, depending on family and culture, but I've actually been denied jobs because others pre-judge my abilities. Also, just about every restaurant I enter takes away the chair from the table, but I prefer to sit on a dinner chair instead of on wheels during my meals. Could you imagine if every time someone recognized a particular trait in you, that they would just remove your chair from the table because they thought "your people don't need chairs, and I'm being helpful"? It takes a lot of daily, patient effort to change the world, but I try to do it graciously, one person at a time (excluding threads).
    I'm glad you feel a common bond based on what's going on in your life, I just don't want to start our friendship by saying you are and I'm not...

    I really don't mean to stir up trouble, but saying that simple statements like "friends are friends" belong to a particular group based on a lifestyle seems silly to me, and I'm sure you could imagine the distaste If I said something like, "I could tell you were LMNOP because you said that." I'm not sure how you know who your friends are, but sexuality has nothing to do with my friendships. For me, sexuality is only relevant if we're in bed together. If you want to be my friend, you need only to be my friend. You can even be my best friend, and your sexual activities will not be my concern, other than the concern that friends have for friends not getting STD's, and warning about cheaters. If you feel differenetly about your friend requirements, there's room in my world model for you to believe differently than I do.
     I welcome you all as friends from the start .
    Steven, I'm egalitarian, but believe that if we all stop emphasizing "my group" and "your group", we will be there at that exact moment we become one. As long as there is more than one group (all humanity, or greater still, The Universe) there will always and ever be imbalance.
  • mizziemizzie
    edited November 2013
    "I'm not sure how you know who your friends are, but sexuality has
    nothing to do with my friendships. For me, sexuality is only relevant if
    we're in bed together."  - @Doctor_E

    This.  I've always said, unless I am in a romantic relationship with you, or want to be, your sexuality is really none of my concern.  Truly, what difference could it possibly make to me?  Ok, if you are my friend (or even if you aren't) and you are being mistreated because of your sexuality, that will matter to me.  But only because that kind of thing really ticks me off.

    It's just such a weird hang up for people to have.  As much as is wrong with the world; as much complexity as each human has; as many things there are to think about, worry about, look forward to and treasure; and all some people seem to care about is who wants to be romantic with who?  Really?

    I say, so long as we are talking about consenting adults, it's no ones business beyond the people it involves.
  • maleteromaletero
    On JCCC2, the event was LGBTQS - S for straights (morning announcements before Hodgman). If it's going to be LGBTQA, I'd suggest that "anyone" be a better word for the A. To me, the term "ally" reinforces the us vs. them mentality that I think we're all hoping to move beyond. There may be some people who would be inclined to go to a gathering where "anyone" is invited, but may not quite feel like an "ally". And I really think that those are the people that need to be included -- they may just need a bit of a push to become allies. 

    Sorry if I'm out of place in jumping in here. I won't be on the cruise, and I've been playing on the "lowest difficulty" in a fairly homogeneous/insulated world most of my life. I may very well be overlooking things. 
  • chicazulchicazul
    Ok, I am a terrible moderator, but I *am* technically a moderator, so I am going to step in and request this this discussion be moved elsewhere, if it must continue. Thank you all for keeping comments civil and productive, but the point of this thread is to discuss a potential meetup for people who have something in common, not debate whether or not you think that commonality is a useful distinction.

    Friends are friends, but when there are hundreds of Sea Monkeys it's nice to plan meetups of smaller groups who may share common interests.

    SO: On topic, although I can picture what lip-sync for your life means, I am unfortunately short on ideas for where/how to make it a reality...Perhaps if/when the shadow cruise event signup happens you can request a room with a microphone?
  • Doctor_EDoctor_E
    edited November 2013
    Didn't mean to ruffle feathers, I guess I'm just really sensitive about identifiers, and rather passionate by nature.
    Peace,
    E
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    Lipsync for your life is really doing a lipsyncing routine ala drag queens/burlesque/drag kings/Lady Gaga on Saturday night live.

    So, if I do my version of Bon Jovi's living on a prayer, I am channeling the spirit of John Bon Jovi and there is alot of air guitar.

    I would propose that we find a way to plug in Ipods, so people can do their best rendition of their shower song/car song/drunken doing dishes song.

    I seem to be fond of/enjoying/over using slashes today. must be in a Kirk/Spock kinda mood.

    what was the name of the place we had the social last year? I wonder if they have an ipod accessible sound system on that stage thing?
  • rhajerhaje
    The local embodiment of Ten Forward (even though it was Fourteen Midship), The Viking Crown Lounge. I recall the event was largely Scarface's plan, and planned somewhat last minute (on board). I'll get his attention and see if he's planning on planning it again, and if he thinks a Lipsync For My Life would fit in after it... or if he might at least plan it a little further in advance so that someone else could take up the cause of an after-event. :-)
  • AuntiLauraAuntiLaura
    For those who are interested in what Lipsyncing for your life means in a VERY non-drag way:


    That man is a great example.
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