Today With Your Wife

PonderousMan

OK, new guy here (long time JoCo fan, but have never spent any time in the forums), but this is the only place I can think of I can talk about this with people who will care. :P

To me, this is the best of the new songs by far... but what really gets me is the remarks he makes at the Northampton show (in chicazul's YT vid) about how "I'm not exactly sure what's going on in this song... you can interpret it yourself..."

So the setup, with the "sad song" and the title, makes it seem (to me at least) like this is some guy cheating on the father and husband... but after listening several times, I think there is a totally different way to take this song: that the father/husband is dead, and his friend is spending time with the widow and kids. The "speaker" in the song knows the widow - it had been a long time since they had a good talk - and now, after this actually pretty good day together, the speaker is telling his friend about how it went.... just thought you should know. The father should have been there, for this wonderful time - but he can't be, because he's gone. I guess maybe he could have taken off or something, but to me it just makes sense that the father is dead. After all, she'd never say... you should have been there. To me this reading makes a lot more sense, because it just seems odd to me that someone who's cheating with someone's wife would be singing such a bittersweet song.

Of course, as with any good songwriter, I expect we can't get JoCo to commit on just what is going on here - but this is my take on it. As you can see, I'm dying to talk about this, and so here I am posting for the first time. What do people think? Am I barking mad here, or are others getting the same sort of sense from this wonderful new song? Anyone else have a different take on it?

chunkstyle

I agree with your interpretation - that's the way I heard it too. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I really look forward to a better recording.

chicazul

I also immediately interpreted the meaning as the husband/father being dead. I'd like to hear the lyrics in the bridge more clearly, but I'm not sure any of the words are going to be obvious. (Everyone seemed okay, but then she'd never say...)

By the way, welcome, PonderousMan. This is clearly the right place to dissect minutiae of JoCo's songs. (:

Credit where credit is due, as well: the videos were taken and posted to the forum by edrud; I was just the first to upload them to YouTube for a wider audience!

Angelastic

I also interpreted it that way; a good friend looking after the guy's wife and children after he died, maybe acting as kind of a replacement father figure for the kids. But I couldn't hear all of the words and thought I heard something about the army at the beginning, in which case maybe he's just away fighting somewhere.

ImAaronJ

I agree with the dead husband interpretation but until I get a solid look at official lyrics I cannot make a real assumption. I was a big fan of the low key feel of the song. I hope he goes more in this direction, more of a serious "Better"-esque vibe.

Bry

But I couldn't hear all of the words and thought I heard something about the army at the beginning, in which case maybe he's just away fighting somewhere.

I agree with anonymous wiki-editor's interpretation of those words, i.e. "under an awning."

edrud

It was definitely "under an awning".

Spiff

I don't agree with the dead husband interpretation, though I've only listened to it once. Seems to me it's just about a guy who gets caught under an awning in the rain with a woman, and their conversation is mostly about her husband whom she really loves. The husband doesn't have to be dead. The singer is just saying that he was struck by how much the wife loves her husband, and the husband should have been there to see it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that JoCo had an encounter just like this, which he decided to turn into a song.

fireworksordie

I am with the husband-who-is-gone interpretation. Random guy with woman interpretation does not explain the "kissed her goodbye" line. I would go with either dead husband's father or good friend. Someone close enough to the wife.

Spiff

Just listened to it again (which ain't easy on an iPhone, let me tell you, since those URLs aren't links), and while I agree it's possible the husband is dead or gone, there's nothing there that indicates that. I think you guys are hearing hoofbeats and deciding you hear a zebra instead of a plain old horse.

Giving a new friend a peck on the cheek and saying you'll call doesn't have to mean anything more either. It's probably just a horse!

chicazul

It's possible JoCo was setting us up to over-analyse this one by always introducing it as a sad song. (:

Angelastic

Maybe it's a half-horse half-zebra monster, and maybe JoCo doesn't know what the situation is either.

ETA: Even if they exchanged phone numbers during the conversation, I don't think they could have only just met, because of these lines:

We both agreed it was too long
since we had a good talk

Spiff

They both agreed it had been too long since they had a good talk. That doesn't mean with each other necessarily, just with anyone (I still hear a horse .

The wife's kids were there splashing in the puddles. Normal for a romantic interlude in the rain?

chunkstyle

We're in Africa, on safari, standing under a sign that says "zebra crossing." I hear zebras.

Angelastic

Seems to me that whether the husband is dead or not, the two people already knowing each other is horse territory.

robgonzo

I would agree that the sad tone if the song makes you want to believe the guy is dead, but true, it's never made clear.
I'm curious about the bridge.

Stupid car stuck in the snow
Getting home, too late to go
I'm not saying anything
Just thought you'd want to know

I'm not sure what it all means. We know at the end of the song that it's a warm sunny day so what's with the snow? What's he not saying and who does he think would like to know?

OldManAP

I'm almost leaning towards the bridge being a vague reference to what happened to the husband, but it's tough to say anything for certain. And we can't discount the possibility that this song might not mean anything all that directly tangible. Jonathan has been known to write stuff that is both beautiful and meaningful, yet still remaining abstract..."Always the Moon" springs immediately to mind. For what is such a moving song, he's certainly making us work for this one!

Jmonkee

Jonathan has been known to write stuff that is both beautiful and meaningful, yet still remaining abstract

Exactly. In fact, he loves this kind of thing.... Just re-read what he wrote about Famous Blue Raincoat, and see how it could apply almost word for word to Today With Your Wife:

"...to me it’s a nearly perfect example of how stories can be told in songs. You never know exactly what happened, but you get glimpses through all these tiny verbal gestures. The title itself says so much without being at all specific. I like to try to fill in the gaps – there’s something about a friend, a wife, and a betrayal, but also something more complicated and private."

The fact that Jonathan says he's not sure what's going on in the song tells us that there is no "right" answer.

When I first heard it, my own interpretation was that the husband is not dead, but their marriage is in trouble. The wife and the narrator are old friends, but not romantically involved. He's standing there having a nice talk with her and having a lovely time, and saying to the husband "hey, it really should be YOU here having a great time with your wife, not me." The line "Everyone seemed okay, But then she'd never say" refers to her and the children, suffering a bad marriage in silence.

But hey, I could be wrong. I kind of like the "dead husband" interpretation now, too....

Gle3nn

Maybe Doctor Martin is a much more sympathetic character than portrayed previously?

Spiff

I like Jmokee's catch of the "everyone seemed ok, but then she'd never say" line. That does seem significant, but still vague.

person132

That line ("...but then she'd never say") isn't vague if you take it as running into the following chorus:

Everyone seemed OK, but then she'd never say
You should have been there

For me, this clinches that the husband is absent (and that the woman misses him), but there's still plenty of ambiguity left. I think the double meaning of the chorus is central to the song. It can be part of "We talked about you and she really loves you, it was inspiring; you should have been there", but it can also be accusatory. "You should have been there for her."

As for the bridge, the only interpretation I've come up with that makes half a lick of sense is that it may be describing the narrator's reasons for spending the night (with all the lurid implications) at the wife's house. It would at least explain the contradictions in the last two lines ("I'm not saying anything" "Just thought you should now") - the narrator feels guilty and can't bring himself to admit he's sleeping with her, but still feels compelled to admit it to the absent (possibly dead) husband.

Of course, that doesn't really fit with "It's been too long since we had a good talk", so I'm sure I'm quite wrong.

That's my current take.

tarrsk

When I first heard it, my own interpretation was that the husband is not dead, but their marriage is in trouble. The wife and the narrator are old friends, but not romantically involved. He's standing there having a nice talk with her and having a lovely time, and saying to the husband "hey, it really should be YOU here having a great time with your wife, not me." The line "Everyone seemed okay, But then she'd never say" refers to her and the children, suffering a bad marriage in silence.

That's how I interpreted it, as well. Maybe the husband left the wife for another woman, and the friend is there to support her in this difficult time. But he's somewhat conflicted - he misses his friend, the husband, but is simultaneously is upset at what he did. Hence, "you should have been here." It wouldn't be the first "supportive but vaguely resentful" character Jonathan has written.

I like the "dead husband" interpretation as well. It's somehow sadder and less depressing at the same time. And I definitely agree with the folks who say that the plot ambiguity is intentional.

chunkstyle

It's a "Luke at the cave" song. What's the song about? Only what you bring with you.

Colleenky

Hi. Remember me? ;-)

I don't think that the husband has to be dead or gone for him to be "absent." And I don't think the woman is necessarily telling this guy how much she loves her husband. At the same time, I don't think there's any adultery going on. I think it's two friends, and she's telling him about her marital troubles. "You shoulda been there," to me, means "Hey, guy. She should be talking to *you*, not me." Thematically, I feel like this song is related to Shop Vac. And in that sense, it's heartbreaking.

EDIT:
Everyone seemed OK, but then she'd never say
You should have been there

Or maybe she's being vague, and our narrator is reading between the lines.

chunkstyle

*whew* I thought for a while there I'd broken the thread.